‘Choose peace and fiercely guard it’ has become an important affirmation for me over the past couple of years. I have found that by making peace my priority – happiness and contentment come much more easily as I had a realisation that in order to feel happy, I needed to be at peace. I also re-evaluated my definition of success and moved away from the idea that in order to be a success I had to be constantly busy and stressed and that actually for me, having peace of mind was a huge success and largely benefited my health, wellness and wellbeing.
There have been many opportunities to put this into practice:
– When I make decisions, I ask myself will this bring me peace? I use this to help guide my answer. I look at the possible drama or stress the decision will bring and weigh it up against the positives but ultimately if it is going to take away my peace, I choose peace and base my answer on the route that will allow this.
– To fiercely guard my peace, I have created strong boundaries with people and situations. I step away from or reduce the time I spend with negative people who are energy drainers and I step out of any drama. This has made a huge impact to my stress levels and my feelings of peace. I now choose to spend time with positive people who make me happy and bring me peace.
– The people in my life who bring stress or upset but who I cannot completely stop seeing, I choose to spend less time with and I avoid seeing them when I am feeling overtired/emotional or unwell. I also use visualisations to protect myself (putting myself in a bubble or imagining shields all around my body) and if they say anything which upsets me, I imagine it bouncing off the bubble or shield so it cannot get close to me. I also stand up for myself and explain that what they are doing or saying is hurtful or upsetting.
– Another way I have fiercely guarded my peace is to work hard on letting go of the feelings of responsibility to stay involved in other people’s drama. I try to see that by stepping out of the situation, it gives them the opportunity to find a solution themselves and it stops a drama escalating by constantly talking about it. I try to find new ways to help the person so that I’m being there for them but it is not negatively affecting me – such as arranging a day out, going for lunch or taking a lovely walk in nature for a loved one or friend going through a rough time. I’ve found it useful to suggest not talking about the stressful situation during these outings (or putting a time limit on it to allow for happier and more positive topics) as it gives the other person (and you) a break from thinking about it. Often, your friend or loved one feels better after a break from thinking and talking about the situation and you’ve helped someone without it adversely affecting your peace.
– Another way I guard my peace is by choosing to say no more. No to shoulds. No to things I don’t want to do. No to things that are going to take away my peace. This leaves much more room for things I love doing and people I love spending time with. There will always be some things we simply cannot say no to but at least by reducing a lot of these, it won’t feel like we are constantly doing things we don’t want to do, which will ultimately bring more peace.
What effective ways have you found to create boundaries and create peace?
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